An adventure in 10 words

April 29, 2008 at 8:58 pm
filed under Roleplaying

This guy’s running a little contest that’s based on the recent Penny Arcade contest: write an adventure idea in 10 words. I couldn’t resist writing down some D&D ideas just for fun, as it’s a neat format to try to condense ideas into. Then I decided I might as well contribute. What follows is my collection of entries, some an attempt to be serious and some of them completely absurd.

Strictly speaking, not all of these are adventure pitches or even synopses. I went for many that could conceivably be part of the in-character dialogue from someone giving the quest, or even just a snapshot of the adventure. Anyway, read (and judge) for yourself.

The king is dead. Why do we still hear him? It was once a church. Now it’s cold and unhallowed. The sword you seek is inside a dragon. Good luck! I’m not kidding: he ended up inside the troll. Yuck. I’ll pay you double if the kobolds eat him afterward. Uh, where did the city go? Oh, right: Dis. Whoops. I hate orcs. Kill them all. Except the hot one. Steel failed. Fire just angered it. You’ll think of something. Hey, do you like money? Do you also like murder? The graveyard is full of angels and the dead can’t sleep. Deliver him here. Ignore his words. He will only lie. Jewels sparkle like fire. “Bring its head and they’re yours.” Say nothing. This tomb has ears. Hands, too. Also: teeth. It started with a gnome and a bucket of ale. Surrender now. I won’t harm you. Honest! I never lie. We entered the temple. I returned afraid. He returned insane. You’re going to kill Bane? Who’s your next of kin? The bridge collapsed. The castle burned. The prince smiled quietly. What part of “eats people for fun” don’t you understand? I’ll give you ten gold if you pull this lever. He’s angry and he’s made of lightning. You’re immune, right? Doppelgangers abound. You’re safe here, though. Here, eat this, friend! We’re surrounded. Let’s worry about that later. The tarrasque awoke. I dare you to steal that lich’s phylactery. No? Chicken. It’s my sister’s child. My child. Do it now. Please. Once, long ago, someone teleported the tarrasque to the Abyss. Say, where can I find a book about breeding beholders? Bring me my mother’s right hand. She won’t need it. Dead men roam the swamp. Therein lies your fallen god. It’s sharp enough. But can you really kill your master? A ghostly figure. You remember her. She’s here now. Why? The eyeless child brings ruin. The stars will depart. Darkness. Hone your skills. Losing means they starve us. Beatings, too. Mangy. Gnawing teeth. Rats? I guess they look like rats.

I also couldn’t resist this ripoff: “For sale: two bloodstained daggers. Very sharp. Never used. Cheap.”

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